New York, you get to decide the Democratic Presidential nominee – okay, the next President. Bernie Sanders or Hillary Clinton. Way to drama! Now I get why you have Broadway! The center of American money and power is also our cultural crown jewel. The establishment and it’s fiercest challengers walking the same streets.
Fat cats and pizza rats.
I’m not going to bash Hillary like a mindless “Bernie Bro” (I prefer Bernard Brother), a concept from a campaign so disconnected from the youth that Hillary said she feels sorry for those uninformed group-thinking millennials that grew up with regular access to a portal of unlimited self-checking information. Hill has many good points, but the conversation inevitably leads to a “But, what about [draw card from pile labeled Questionable Record]?” Crime bills, gay rights, Wall St. ties, shady trade agreements, corporate interests… it’s a large stack of cards.
Hillary Clinton is as complicated as George W. was dumb*. She’s an entree with sides you don’t like, a free trip to somewhere you don’t want to go. We should not have to swallow lima beans in Wichita!
The best choice is often the simplest and Bernie is amazingly easy to figure out. He speaks clearly, doesn’t dance around points, and has a long, consistent record. He has an authenticity nobody else seems to have. Everyday the Internet shows us new information, video compilations, and fact-checking reports. Instead of being buried under tomorrow’s headlines, these stories go viral and grow in real time as events unfold. New questions about Hillary’s record, while Bernie’s grows more consistent. Panama Papers corruption scandal? Check the footage. Hillary supported the hollow trade deal while Bernie called it out for being the money laundering scandal it was. Bernie denounced it years ago, not after we all found out. This is the pattern.
You can’t fight the tide of culture forever. A great example is the series of anti-LGBT “freedom” laws being passed in the South. These discriminatory laws are the last attempts at holding onto ideas already defeated in the greater culture war. Immediately there was backlash from Bruce Springsteen cancelling tour dates, large companies like PayPal rerouting jobs, and the real pressure point – porn website blackouts. We are watching the struggles of those clinging tightest to the past as their values become less valuable. The old halls of power are showing their cracks. These laws will be overturned. Transgendered people will have flash mobs celebrating their ability to use the restroom that makes them feel comfortable enough to poop.
So too have the people decided that they are over a system of politics that has become a parody of itself. This doesn’t mean instant change, but the beginning of an impressively long chain of dominoes. One so long and intricate it could only have been set up for a commercial shoot or world record. A chain where the very last dominoes are sadly, people that will change their minds when their brains decompose.
Strategist Robert Reich said it politely – Both candidates are qualified. Hillary is best qualified to run our current government. Bernie is best qualified to run the government we need.
Bernie has lit up new generations (multiple) of voters despite constant money-fueled opposition from the media, his own party, and the system he fights to fix. Whatever happens, he has already changed the world. Every new election will have more and more candidates with Sanders tattoos. His message of common sense democratic socialism is out, and there’s no ignoring the way it has resonated. I don’t want to close with some defeatist line like “Even if he doesn’t win, he still wins.” but for a man who got into the race simply to raise issues nobody was talking about, thinking himself that he had no chance, he has won.
But let’s win, really. Change is inevitable, but the Internet is impatient.
Daniel Reskin is a comedian, writer, and Bernie supporter (Full disclosure: Personally, I need this win to keep doing my Bernie Sanders impression. Vuhmont Senatuh Bernie Sanduhhhhhs…). Follow him @DanielReskin and DanielReskin.com.
I’m animating more. I used to make animations with my friend Robert back in middle school, but the technology was expensive and clunky. My new Samsung Note 4 (new to me) has a great drawing pen I can use to create all kinds of things, instead of popping candy balloons full of soda pandas. I’m testing out which apps I like and what programs I can use with them, to generate some gashdurn content. Here are some prototype animations:
Brain Regan is one of the most respected figures in stand-up comedy. After decades of touring, he just filmed his first live special and and acted in his first movie. His material is also growing in a new direction with his signature style. Learn about what makes this man tick. Although my original headline didn’t mention Trump, Brian did so that’s how journalism works.
Adrian Mesa, one of the hosts of 3 Course Comedy, recently moved to LA. He’s already wearing black and threatening to sue me over past conversations so things are going well. Since there’s no more 3 Course for now, local comic Alex Creasy and I decided to bake him a farewell cake. The cake is long digested, but you can experience the experience forever (until it all crumbles).
The 3rd annual High Plains Comedy Festival just wrapped up, as moments ago the last comedian finally passed out. The three-day festival was a smooth success, showcasing strong national and local talent in both traditional and concept shows. The events were blocks away with many free shows making it easy to spend all day laughing. Here’s a handy list of the poignant moments I was fortunate enough to experience.
10. Uncalled Four, Denver’s premier comedy game show, raising the stakes with fifth panelist local Byron Graham. It was an extremely close race until Matt Braunger narrowly defeated a book-related vaginal reference with his culinary-related vaginal reference. Dramedy! The show is hitting its stride and the I only wish it was on TV already so we could stream it at home during family dinners.
9. Watching shows at 3 Kings from the cheap seats, aka the outside window. Second place is an ear to the glass at Mutiny. Hi-Dive is great but could install a skylight to better cater to the broke moocher demographic.
8. Cartoons & Comedy transforming an afternoon crowd into a group of giggling, cereal-slurping seven-year-olds. I think I saw some thumb-sucking. Go Planet!
7. Busting all of the moves to the hypnotic pulsing jam spasms of Total Ghost. Keyboards were harmed. Also shout outs to jockeys of discs Jonah Ray and Erin Stereo.
6. Seeing the Grawlix fellas all pumped from their recent Those Who Can’t wrapping as they fight off the demons of Hollywood success with some down-home root recharging.
5. Sponsors Sexy Pizza, Illegal Pete’s and Denver Relief keeping bellies full and spirits high, with sticky happy fingers for all.
4. Realizing that comedy allows far more access to the performers than other art forms. Comics love (or at least need) to meet people and talk comedy and – they’re right over there! Stop staring you’ll make ’em feel weird! Aww they went back in the green room, creepo.
3. Ben Kronberg’s semi-secret open mic smoke bus. Enjoying the sights of Denver with stand-up in a school bus full of pot smoke. It was such good vibes that I accidentally dropped the joint out the window while ashing it and nobody yelled non-jokingly. Provided by BusToShow.org.
2. Learning that Kurt Braunohler‘s beaver closer loses a certain pop when his scrotum isn’t visible. The bulging profile of his Braunsac perfectly/horrifically balanced the imaginary (incredible versatile) beaver tail. Such are the freak results of Ian Abramson‘s Seven Minutes in Purgatory, where comics are disconnected from seeing or hearing their live audience.
1. Anthony Jeselnik fucking delivered. He ran his new hour before taking it on tour and it will not disappoint fans as he fans disappointment. He was surprised Denver was so into his shocking punchlines. This was the kind of show where couples went home to shower before they had sex.
0. SECRET REASON ZERO – There was a line that many comedians echoed this weekend “Denver is the best comedy city in the world.” How could such a thing be true? To compete with the coastal heads of industry? Hmm, they must be too high on our school-funding space cakes, pay them no mind!
Blocking off some free time for August 2016 would be wise.
Honorable Mention – The Fine Gentleman’s Club’s tearful, highly-sexual reunion.